The original CRAY-1 supercomputer was a 5-ton monster with just 8 MB of main memory, yet programming it can be a fun way to explore subtleties of PHP coding. In this talk, we indulge in programming “big iron” on “bare metal.” We’ll look at CRAY-1 hardware instructions with the aim of understanding logic operations, Boolean algebra, and octal arithmetic. As a Cray Research veteran, I’ve carried CRAY-1 logic design to both MySQL table design and PHP coding. After this talk, you will as well.